When dealing with a controversial topic, respond to feelings first, then to the facts.      It shows you have compassion, and wanting to deal with the issue at hand.

There are six types of questions you can ask to get some insight -

1.  Reflection -  Have you considered.....

2.  Regret - What kept you from .....

3.  Action - What caused you to .....

4.  Consequences - How would your life be different if .....

5.  Confirming - If I understand you correctly.....

6.  Diagnostic - On a scale of 1 - 10, how serious are you ......